


Alright, Okay, You Win...

by limanade



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming of Age, F/M, Homophobia, Its just Donghyuck facing his gay feelings, M/M, a lot of feelings, cross posted on AFF, for Mark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 09:20:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10303328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limanade/pseuds/limanade
Summary: Donghyuck is facing his changing sexuality, and Mark just happens to be the reason for it.Who's fault is it?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on aff a while back, but I wanted to spread the Markhyuck, so bam. My first ao3 fic, hope you guys enjoy. _html is hard._
> 
> Title taken from Alright, Okay, You Win by Count Basie, and vocals by Joe Wiilliams. (A fantastic song btw.)

Just maybe he didn't notice how pretty guys can be. Or how _hot_. Gym class was pure eye candy, how could he not have noticed? 

 

Donghyuck stared at his three best friends laughing. Laughing about who knows what, but that's not the important part. The important part is that donghyucks heart ached. Something or someone pulled on his heart strings. 

"I'm I jealous?" Donghyuck thought to myself. He's never dated any guys or thought himself as gay, but maybe it's the same way his heart hurts when he sees the girl he likes get taken by a jock. Or how he gets annoyed when his favorite toy is gone. 

Just maybe he didn't notice how pretty guys can be. Or how hot. Gym class was pure eye candy, how could he not have noticed? 

Was it the girly jaemin who said he was manly but acts like gossip queen? Jaemin who's smile could brighten anyone's day.

Or was it jeno? Who instead of smiling with his mouth chooses to use his eyes? His no-fun hyung!

Or was it lastly their eldest hyung mark? Who's tall, dependable, not funny at all, but fun to poke at. His seagull eyebrows, giving him the nickname parrot hyung made by yours truly. Was it the way donghyucks body warmed up at the touch of his contact? Or maybe that when marks sick, school becomes more boring than usual. The sleepovers he and mark had years ago were burned in his memory, unlike jaemins slumber party that happened 3 weeks ago.

 

Crap. It's him.

 

 

 

 

1 year after donghyuck realized his feelings:

 

"Hurry up loser, we're gonna be late for the bus!" 

Donghyuck and Mark were running to the bus stop near their school. Marks teacher, Miss Kim had to talk about his science fair project, which resulted in them being late for the bus. Them meaning donghyuck and Mark, because donghyuck won't sit on the bus by himself.

"There's pervs and kidnappers! What would happen if someone took me! I need a body guard!!!" donghyuck hollered.

"I'm guessing the bodyguard is me." Mark dead panned. 

"Correct, my dear bodyguard!" Donghyuck teased with a grin on his face while poking marks cheek.

The bodyguard puts up with it. And he doesn't know why. Since last year, when he asked donghyuck why he should be the body guard, all he got was an earful of something about being tall and strength. It's no surprise that Mark excels at sports, while donghyuck is his cheerleader. 

The said cheerleader is always at marks games and tournaments. He's the loudest and claps like a seal whenever marks team gets a basket, goal, or touchdown.

"YES GO MARKIE POO! eVERY ONE THATS MY BEST FRIEND!! THE ONE THAT SCORED THAT 3 POINTER!!"

"SEAGULL EYEBROWS NICE GOAL! JUST DO IT 10 MORE TIMES !"

"HOLY SMOKES MARKLEE (pronounced like broccoli) THAT WAS AMAZING!"

The whole team knows donghyuck and he always brings them snacks and water. Jaemin accompanies donghyuck time to time for games, but tends to just clap and cheer like a normal person. Sometimes just a little louder when jeno scores. Not that donghyuck can notice over his (yelling) cheering. 

Back at the bus stop, Mark and donghyuck finally arrived just in the nick of time and squeezed their way in the crowded bus. Lots of "excuse me," and "oh sorry," filled the empty spaces. There were so many people that everything became squished and sweaty and hot. 

Rush hour was donghyucks favorite time of the day. 

Since the bus is so full it gives donghyuck full advantage to use Mark as a pillow and get so close he can feel the wrinkles of his shirt pressed against his. Donghyuck blames his red cheeks on how humid it is. They don't talk. There's too many people around and a 100 conversations buzzing around all at once, so it's just silence between the two. It's just donghyucks head gently laying on marks shoulder. It's the speed bumps and sharp turns that donghyuck gets to lean even more into the boy he's liked for a year. Possibly more.

It's where no one can give him crap for being so close to a guy. 

 

The two boys get off at the same bus stop but separate as soon as they step off the bus. Not many words are exchanged, after an exhausting school day there's really nothing left to say. A causal goodbye and it's the end.

 

 

If donghyuck were honest, nothing's really changed between him and Mark. Except that whole sentence above is a lie. 

Everything's changed. It's just not that noticeable to the naked eye.

 

He feels his touches linger slightly longer than what would be considered "friends". Or will wish marks touches lasted longer on his bare skin. He longs for what couples do. Things like wearing matching clothing, or a sweatshirt with "Mark Lee" on the back of it. Even just cuddling under a blanket and watching a boring teen movie sounds fun. He wants to have stupid, meaningless "No, I love you more," and "no I do," conversations.

Donghyuck realized how different he feels in the same situations. At jaemins slumber party, although he doesn't remember much, what he remembers is all in the span of 2 minutes.

 

Jaemins slumber party 2 weeks ago: 5am

Sprawled on jaemins basement floor lay blankets, sleeping bags, pillows, and 7 sleepy boys. There was snoring heard around the room, precisely what has woken donghyuck up at 5am. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he could make out the main shape of marks face inches away from him. Oh right, they decided to sleep next to each other. Fantastic. His eyes were closed and mouth open in a cute little oval, softly snoring. Donghyuck could feel his breathing on his cheek. His hair was messy and some drool was gathering at the corner of the lips, but he looked beautiful.

He wanted to kiss him. Just a little peck. His lips looked soft in the dark and no one would ever know.

 

Donghyuck turned his back to Mark and forced himself to fall asleep

 

_

 

No one knows donghyuck quiet like he does himself. He knows that he can be outgoing and the life of the party, but he also knows the lonely part of himself. The part that craves people's attention and affection. People meaning Mark.

Some days he purposefully avoids having sleepovers with Mark, or going to the movies with him. He doesn't really know why, so maybe he doesn't know himself that well.  
What donghyuck does know is that being gay is something that is wrong. Implied or not.

"oh donghyuck, you're going to marry such a fine lady when your older!" Exclaimed his uncle at a family gathering, after donghyuck told a joke. "I bet you'll find love before you're 20! With such a charming personality too!" 

"Whoever you end up with sure is a lucky girl!" His friend Yeri would tell him on several occasions. Especially when he had home ec with her. 

"I can't wait to have grandchildren!" Confessed his dad with a smile on his face. "They are going to be so cute! I can tell them embarrassing stories about you!" 

"You and Koeun would make such a cute couple!" Squealed his mom in excitement, preparing to get the camera out, while donghyuck quickly rushed Koeun out of his house. "Mom she's just over for a school project, it's not like we're gonna get married or anything!"  
"You don't know yet, donghyuckie!"

 

No ones ever talked about being gay or lesbian in open. He just kinda assumed it's not exactly a good thing. The Internet holds a lot of information about expressing your sexuality. It's how he knew what he felt for Mark was more than brotherly love. Everytime his mom bursts open the door he has to hide his research findings. It's such a taboo subject donghyuck can't help but feel a little scared. A little scared of his feelings. A little scared of what the future would be like if he doesn't stop, and a little scared if he does stop these feelings. 

All these add up to a whole lot of scary. He's terrified. So maybe he does know why on some days he'd rather go play video games with Jeno instead of Mark. He's saving himself a migraine and chest pains.

It doesn't help that Mark is clueless. Blank about donghyucks gay advances that aren't really advances. In fact he's kinda really into girls and a bit of a germaphobe. When sharing water bottles Mark will always make sure his lips don't touch the opening because that's an "indirect kiss!" When donghyuck goes for a hug Mark isn't exactly excited. His arms just kinda end up at his side, wrapped up by donghyucks arms. Let's just say the elder isn't a fan of skin ship. Donghyuck just happens to a be a fanatic.

To make things worse, girls are a uncommon topic between the 2 best friends, but when it happens those are the nights a certain boy cries himself to sleep.

"Donghyuck, don't you think Joy is pretty. I think I might ask her out," sighed Mark, as if he was looking at an unattainable girl. Joy was across the classroom talking to Yeri, and giggled when she saw Mark staring.

"Yeah, she's pretty nice..." Donghyuck admitted, his eyes downcast.

"I'm thinking of taking her to the dance next week!" Exclaimed Mark with a dumb smile on his face. "I don't think she'll say yes, though."

"I think anyone would say yes to you."

 

But to be fair, the latter also lies about his crushes to Mark. Yeah, joys nice on the eyes, and she's not stuck up, but all of it is fake. There's no point in confessing his useless feelings that will just end up complicating their friendship, so it's better to lie. Lying is good. It's not like him and Mark and gonna have a happy ever after with kids. He's not going to tear down years worth of friendship over silly feelings.

 

 

But with these scary and worthless feelings donghyuck can't help but experience an uncontainable amount of happiness when he's around Mark. Whenever someone mentions Mark, or when they banter, he can't stop himself from smiling. Parrot hyungs smile is even brighter than jaemins. Although it seems that he's the only one that thinks that.

Those seagull eyebrows he makes fun of are such a lie. He would never change any part of Mark. Donghyuck admires his height, how he carries himself with a kinda awkward feel but he's so much more. He likes annoying the hell out of him, seeing all his sides come out. 

Donghyuck likes Mark. Simple as that. A boy likes a boy.

But that doesn't mean he's gonna do anything about it.

 

 

Because there are a million different reasons why they wouldn't work.

 

 

 

 

2 years after donghyuck realized his feelings:

 

Donghyuck has never slipped. Until now.

By slip he means giving away his true feelings. It means no "accidental" couple things, no staring in the changing room, and absolutely no kisses. For 2 years he has kept it all in his head and spills out his frustration and sadness in pen and paper.

During one of those school dances Mark had asked Joy to a dance. She said yes. Donghyuck thought he would confess in tears and jealousy as he could feel his eyes watering, but smiled as he encouraged him to ask joy. The sad boy spent half of the dance in the bathroom alone with his tears and the other half moping to stupid, fake, love songs with Renjun. Those artists have never experienced unrequited love. Mark didn't even notice he was gone till the whole dance ended and texted him asking where he was. Donghyuck replied with a "home."

He thinks his friends have caught on with his infatuation of Mark. They don't mention anything per se, but the little actions like pairing up quickly, leaving Mark and Donghyuck no choice but to be each others partners. Not that they wouldn't be, of course.

 

Donghyuck often thinks to himself "I want to kiss him..." Or "I want to tell him...." But never has he ever acted upon it. Their friendship is too delicate to end. Its been tittering ever so slightly, more than ever before. It's been created over so many years, the younger boy is not so selfish to ruin it with a silly confession.

 

So he ruins it with a silly kiss.

 

 

 

He slipped.

 

Sometime in October:

On the big football field lay 2 boys on their backs looking up at the clouds. They came to the football field to check out how big it is, since tomorrow's the finals for Marks team. The 2 boys point at the clouds and laugh while conversing softly, as if someone were to eavesdrop at any second. They have a thick blanket covering their bodies, so the only exposed part is their heads popping out from the top. It's dark and cold out, the wind whipping at exposed skin, and the moon casting shadows on everything.

"Donghyuckie, do you ever think there's such thing as true love?" Asked Mark in a surprisingly serious tone. Before this, they were debating which cloud looked bigger.

"Funny you'd ask that" chuckled donghyuck, laughing at the irony. True love....he knows that's fake. If true love was real, he would be kissing the boy next to him.

For months Mark has been talking about some true love soul mate crap. Its been more irritating then having a crush on a guy who's straight as a ruler. Mark although having danced with joy, said they only became friends. Only friends. Donghyuck let out a sigh of relief just a little louder than expected. Mark just looked up unexpectedly.

"But seriously, is there such thing as a soul mate? Like is my soulmate somewhere, right now just enjoying life?" Replied Mark. "Just hanging out with their friends, or thinking about me, too?"

"I don't think so. Sorry to burst your bubble but you've heard love stories about falling in love with multiple people in a lifetime." Reasoned donghyuck.  
"Soul mates are for suckers."

At this point they were talking to the sky, their faces were towards the racing clouds and the moon.

"What about the stories where you only have one, true soulmate?"  
Questioned a determined Mark. "I, for one, would cherish them forever!"

 

Mark turned his head towards donghyuck, taking in his sharp features as the moon castes white shadows across his side profile. It Showcased his nose and cheek bones and pink pouty lips pursed together, thinking.

"What if it was a guy..." The younger replied slowly, as if each word was carefully chosen. He couldn't do anything but look up to the never ending sky as he said this.

Donghyuck slowly turned around out of curiously. He saw Mark with accepting eyes. The exact opposite of what he thought he would see, utter disgust. Instead he looked like an angel sent just for Lee Donghyuck! The dip of his collar bone was shadowed and his eyes were a lighter brown than normal. Showing his prominent dark eye circles and pointy nose.

"Why do you think I used the word "they"?" Mark whispered, holding eye contact with a suddenly, rosy cheeked Donghyuck. "It doesn't matter to me. If it's true love, then I would gladly go to the moon and back for them."

 

That's when he slipped.

 

 

He kisses Mark when the fireflies are out and the moon is high. He kisses him with a tinge of fear, and a lot of "in the moment" adrenaline. 2 years of agony, hidden feelings all put into one action. If he's being honest here, he doesn't know why marks lips are moving against his, but he's not complaining. 

He can feel the way they gasp for breath when they end the kiss. They look at each other with wide eyes. 

"I'm so sorry! That will never happ-"

Mark shut him up with a kiss. If Mark knew this earlier, he would've kissed him all the times his blabbering mouth caused his red cheeks. Donghyuck can feel the grass prickling his hands as he wrapped his arms around marks neck, just as marks arms went around his waist.

It didn't matter what happened outside of their little bubble. If Mark gave donghyuck this much happiness, is it really so wrong?

 

 

Sprawled out on the football field lay 2 love sick boys, cuddling under the moon and pointing at the clouds. 

 

 

_Alright,_

 

_Okay,_

 

_You win…_

 

 

 

 

_I'm in love with you._


End file.
